LIVE COHORT

Resilient Relating

5 Weeks Hybrid Learning

part of the monogamy detox course series
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Love is a verb, not a permanent state of enthusiasm
~ ESTHER PEREL

For most of us, the only advice we get about how to get into and stay in a relationship is rooted in monogamous-centred approaches that say you should only be with one person, and stay with that person forever, no matter what, till death do you part. 

But the reality, for most of us, is that we will have more than one partner in our lifetimes (and some of us may have multiple partners at the same time).  Unresolved baggage from past relationships might influence our future relationships, and we may struggle with fears of loss the moment there is even a hint of conflict. 

It's not just about the skills for polyamory and other forms of consensual non-monogamy: monogamy-centric advice often falls short when addressing complex relationships, including blended families, coparenting, intentional communities, cohousing, and more.

We are incredibly complex beings, each holding intersections of identities that can impact how we relate to others and how they relate to us, and all that complexity can be a lot to hold when we don't have frameworks through which to understand it. 

Healthy, vibrant, resilient relationships are founded on consent, but consent isn't just about permission; it's about collaboration. And, to build truly collaborative relationships, we have to understand how the perceptions of power and privilege can influence why we say yes, and to whom.

If you're ready to address the patterns of oppressive patriarchal and colonial approaches to relationships entwined with Monogamy, and to cultivate liberating, equitable, and authentic relationships, this program is for you.
Mel Cassidy’s Monogamy Detox is the relationship school I didn’t even know I needed so badly.

— JEN, COURSE STUDENT

5 Transformational Weeks

Resilient Relating builds on the work presented by Mel Cassidy in their book, Radical Relating, offering a somatically-integrated and experiential dive into the core skills for growing healthy, dynamic relationships in complex situations, such as (but not limited to): non-monogamy, polyamory, relationship anarchy, cooperative living, intentional community, and much more.

Together, we unpack the restrictive frameworks and stories that we may be unconsciously repeating. Through somatic practices, we explore how to identify self-protection and self-preservation responses that naturally arise in relationships and move back into more empathic and compassionate connections without abandoning our needs or our boundaries. And, with trauma-informed tools, we hone our understandings of how both visible and invisible power dynamics and systems can impact our relationships — and how to navigate our way to collaborative ways of holding 'power with'.

Over the course of five weeks, you'll level up your skills for being in relationships that are equitable, compassionate, and make space for the agency of everyone involved in them.

THIS COURSE IS PART ONE OF THE MONOGAMY DETOX PROGRAM, A COMPREHENSIVE SERIES OF THREE COURSES FOCUSING ON DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF UNPACKING MONO-NORMATIVITY AND STEPPING INTO RADICAL RELATING.

Each course can be taken individually, with 1 year of access to materials, or by registering for the complete Monogamy Detox Program, you gain lifetime access, meaning you can rejoin every time the courses are offered in the future.

What We Cover

This course bridges the essential skills for complex relationships — collaborative consent, creating agreements, and repair after rupture — with awareness of the subtle and not so subtle ways that power and privilege can impact us and our relationships, with a focus on moving from models of power over/under into relationships founded on sharing of power.

Topics we cover include:
Understanding the vectors of power and privilege
Discerning what motivates a Yes
The Four Courses of Agreements
Somatic approaches to relationship triangulation
The causes of relationship rupture and somatic practices for apology, repair, rebuilding trust, and for letting go.

Cost:

5 Week Course $320CDN (approx $235 USD or 200 Euros)
Course access = 12 months

I am committed to financial accessibility and offer low-income and Student/Hardship discounts for anyone who needs them. 
I trust you to be the best judge of what you can afford; those who can pay more help me offset my costs and keep subsidized rates available for everyone who needs them.

Low Income Rate (for anyone whose income is below living wage in their location): $272CDN (15% discount, approx $200USD or 170 Euros). 
Use discount code LOWINCOME when registering. 

Student/Hardship Rate (for anyone who is a student, living on government subsidies, or is otherwise experiencing financial hardship): $224 CDN (30% discount, approx $165 USD or 140 Euros). 
Use discount code STUDENT when registering.

2- and 3-part payment plans at subsidized rates are also available.  Please contact support [at] radicalrelating.ca
You can also register to participate in the full 8-month Monogamy Detox Program, which includes 2 additional courses. When you register for all three, you receive up to an additional discount (depending on payment plan), and additional benefits including life-time access and a life-time coaching discount.

Resilient Relating Is For You If:

  • You recognize that your relationship habits aren't always supporting the ways you relate, and you want to find tools to help you change them;
  • You want tools for navigating important relationship moments that aren't centred on the ideals of the Nuclear Family, colonial and patriarchal expectations of relationships, hierarchy based on romantic and/or sexual connections, or heteronormative gender norms.
  • You've experienced a pattern of relationships that rupture and end after 2-3 years, and you want to build more long-term partnerships and friendships that don't crash and burn when conflict arises.
  • You're looking for trauma-informed approaches to growing community and chosen family, with particular focus on open/non-monogamous relationships and Relationship Anarchy.

Frequently asked questions

I read the book Radical Relating, how is this course different?

Thank you so much for reading my book! It's a comprehensive introduction to the work I do — but honestly, there was so much that I couldn't fit into the book, especially when it comes to the nuances and specifics of what an individual journey out of monogamous mythology can hold. 

This course builds on the foundations and frameworks in the book, but what really sets it apart is that we get to do the work together, in live group calls, and integrating somatic practices as we go. 
Plus, you get to engage with other people doing this work.

If you're the kind of person who likes to learn by doing and talking about what you're doing,  and you want to have other people to do it with, then the course is going to offer you so much more than the book does — but the book is definately a good start!

I can't make all the live calls, will they be recorded?

The live group Zoom calls are on Sundays at 10 am Pacific Time and will last 90 minutes. Calls are recorded and will be uploaded to the coursework page within 24 hours of the call. While attending the calls live is ideal, it is totally okay if you need to miss a few.

Is this a Non-Monogamy Course?

Yes and no. 

It's not intended as an introduction to non-monogamy, but if you're new to it and want to level up your relationship skills for navigating complex situations, this course will absolutely support you.

I don't want to be non-monogamous, can I still do this course?

Absolutely!
Whilst the language used in the course is non-monogamy-centred, everyone is welcome.
The frameworks, skills, and practices that we explore are applicable for all kinds of relationships.

What do you mean that this course is "Somatic"?

Somatics is a bit of a 'catch-all' term for various practices, modalities, and frameworks that focus on integrating mind, body, heart, and spirit. I'm trained in Somatic movement and am also a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.

How this shows up in my courses is that the curriculum is structured to be gentle and supportive for nervous systems learning new ways of being. It also means that the content we're exploring is inspired by somatic practices and frameworks.

On a very practical level, the coursework will invite you to engage in gentle somatic practices, such as visualization, movement (within your comfort and capacity), and tracking your nervous system and its responses. 

While many somatic practices have been inspired by indigenous animistic and wisdom traditions, and my own practice of somatics is grounded through my personal animistic path (through Shaivism), I teach somatics through the language of modern somatics while seeking to honour the lineages through which I've studied, and by which these practices have originally come to us.

I'm asexual/aromantic and/or don't desire anything like traditional partnership or dating. Is this a good course for me?

Yes! You are absolutely welcome. We don't just talk about romantic or sexual relationships in this course, and everything we explore is equally applicable to asexual, aromantic, and platonic relationships too.

What are your subsidy and payment plan options?

I believe this work can't truly be radical if it's inaccessible to those experiencing hardship or who are struggling financially. 

I don't need to see any proof of need: I trust each person to be their own best judge of their finances. 

Low Income individuals (whose income is below living wage where they live) can use the code LOW INCOME for a 15% discount on the full purchase price. 

Individuals who are full time students with loans, living on government benefits, unable to work due to disability, or experiencing more extreme financial challenges, can use the code STUDENT for a 30% discount on the full purchase price. 

There are 2 and 3 part payment plans available at the full rate. 
If you would like to pay on the Low Income or Student/Hardship rate on a payment plan, please send a message to support [at] radicalrelating.ca 
If you're in a relationship, starting a relationship, or ending a relationship, you owe it to yourself to check this course out. It opened my eyes to the possibilities, and gave me some valuable insights into my own relationships — to other people, to the planet, and to myself. I'll be dipping into this material for as long as I'm around.
— ANON COURSE STUDENT

2026 Course Dates:

Coursework goes live on Thursdays
Live Group Calls are on Sundays at 10am Pacific Time/1pm Eastern
Check Your Local Timezone Here

All calls are recorded, and posted to the coursework page.

Course Starts November 5th

WEEK ONE: Right Use Of Power
Coursework: Thurs Nov 5th
Live Group Call: Sunday Nov 8th

WEEK TWO: Collaboration
Coursework: Thurs Nov 12th
Live Group Call: Sunday Nov 15th

WEEK THREE: Resilience
Coursework: Thurs Nov 19th
Live Group Call: Sunday Nov 22nd

WEEK FOUR: Triangulation
Coursework Thurs Nov 26th
Live Group Call: Sunday Nov 29th

WEEK FIVE: Rupture & Repair
Coursework: Thurs Dec 3rd
Live Call: Sunday Dec 6th

Please note, this course is not for you if:

  • You are uncomfortable doing self-reflection;
  • You are currently experiencing a relationship crisis and have no other means of emotional support (eg therapist, family, friendship network);
  • You are trying to force yourself to be non-monogamous for the sake of a partner;
  • You believe there are only two genders or that racism doesn't exist;
  • You aren't ready to examine the ways you experience power and privilege due to your gender, orientation, or relationship status.
A thriving community

500+ people worldwide

Your work has reminded me that perhaps there isn’t anything wrong with me at all. I am amazed at the deep levels of shame we carry as human beings because we don’t fit into the construct that is given to us as a model for our life. It feels exciting because I can now explore what I want for my life rather than be gifted something that just doesn’t feel right for me.
Craig, COURSE STUDENT
 I am very thankful for the ability to apply what I have learned from participating in your program. Not to say that I wasn't hit with a variety of emotions. Absolutely, I was . Navigating through them and understanding that they are part of the hangover helped me to move to a great place of genuine joy...

ANON COURSE STUDENT
This course has been life-changing for me. The self-worth and confidence I have gained ... is evident to those around me. I am so happy to know that I will be able to access the tools in the future as I continue my self-discovery and whatever challenges that may bring. This course has helped me to increasingly value myself.

 CARRIE, COURSE STUDENT

The Values Of The Monogamy Detox Program

Because how we do this together is just as important as what we do together.
  1. The Monogamy Detox courses take an interesectional lense that recognises compulsory monogamy as a cultural institution is rooted in patriarchal, colonial, and capitalist narratives.

  2. Freely chosen dyadic (two people) and fidelitous partnership is not inherently bad.
    People exploring conscious monogamy are welcome here. 

  3. We consider how the upholding of Monogamy — and especially of the Nuclear Family through the 20th century thru to today — alongside heteronormative gender roles and a lack of mental health support, creates a fragile relationship ecology, leaving us more reliant on colonial systems for survival.

  4. These courses offer a feminist, anti-racist, queer & trans-affirming space, with room for compassionate dialogue and the space to be gently challenged and learn about the ways compulsory monogamy and systems of oppression intertwine.

  5. The content of The Monogamy Detox courses is free from the use of generative AI, and always will be.
You have created something truly magnificent here. I was impressed not just with the coursework, but by your ability to integrate intersectional awareness for marginalized groups. It was fantastic to see the diversity of the group that you attracted, which speaks to the work that you are doing to do so. It felt like a profoundly safe space and I enjoyed myself immensely.
— ANON COURSE STUDENT

What You'll Get From This Program:

  • You'll recognize the unhelpful relationship habits from monogamy that you didn't even realize were holding you back;
  • You'll discover the importance of conflict intimacy and how to cultivate it;
  • You'll identify the signs of nervous system mobilization in yourself, and learn somatic practices to help you mobilize in ways that don't disrupt your relationships;
  • You'll practice collaborative consent and moving through the four courses of relationship agreements;
  • You'll be empowered to repair from rupture and rebuild trust and loving connection in your whole relationship landscape, in ways that support you to show up as your whole, authentic self.
A thriving community

what past students say:

I was hesitant at first —I didn't specifically identify as poly, but this class is NOT just for polyamorous people. Honestly, I think everyone that has ever been in a relationship would benefit from this class!
I feel like a relationship superhero now and I've made so many meaningful friendships through the class. There is no question, this class was a valuable life changer, for me.
ANON, COURSE STUDENT
I entered this course feeling insecure, unsure, and lost when it came to identifying what I need and want, not to mention feeling very isolated and alone in those desires. I left with a rich community of likeminded friends, a strong awareness of what I want out of my relationships, and so much more confidence in the entire topic and relationships in general. I can't thank Mel enough!!
ANON COURSE STUDENT
For a long time I was stuck in a contradiction: believing in the free expression of love, while at the same time lacking an explicit and thoughtful critique of toxic monogamy culture that undermines those very values.
Mel’s Monogamy Detox helped clarify the goals and values that guide my relationships, so I can live a more authentic life.
ANON, COURSE STUDENT

My Journey To Resilience

Like so many, I grew up thinking that the secret to a long-lasting relationship was liking each other and enjoying similar activities. Surely, if the chemistry was good, everything else would work out, right?

Turns out, that's only in fairy tales or in very, very rare exceptions in real life. For most of us, myself included, the actual relating part of being in relationships was where the challenges lay, both when I was monogamous, and then they got amplified when I started exploring polyamory. 

What I didn't realise when I was married was that it wasn't my fault that I didn't know how to navigate conflict with my husband: no one had taught me how to talk about what I wanted, find my way to collaborative agreements with a partner (or friend!), and certainly not how to repair a relationship when trust had been broken. 

Not only that: I was living in a culture I didn't grow up in, and trying to build a relationship with someone who didn't have the same cultural framework, values, or perspectives on the world that I did.

Embarking into non-monogamy in my late twenties and early thirties with very little in the way of relationship skills, for a while I felt like I was drowning. My marriage had been a dysfunctional kind of functional, that chugged along on autopilot, as long as I didn't rock the boat by speaking up about my needs or letting my husband know when something had upset me. 

But in non-monogamy, relating deeply with multiple partners, my autopilot wasn't working, and I couldn't just 'tough it out' anymore, but I also found myself unable to run away from conflict and other uncomfortable feelings. Clearly, something had to change.
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NOURISHING RESILIENCE

My experience of growing up between many different cultures made me deeply curious about the unspoken and seemingly invisible aspects of relationships: the identities people held and how those interacted with and impacted their intimate relationships. I wanted to understand why people could have such different understandings and definitions of their own relationship agreements. And, I was determined to find better ways to talk about differences with my partners.

I studied consent and began assisting in consent workshops and facilitating consent-based trainings for small and large organizations. And I participated in intentional communities, helping facilitate group communication and mediation.

On these frontlines of relationship skills building, I got to see firsthand how the intersections of power and privilege affected consent, collaboration, and why people would agree (sometimes even enthusiastically!) to things they didn't even want!

In my own relationships, I began to explore what it was like to stop enduring things I wasn't enjoying, and work towards finding more shared agency. I went through relationships that ruptured — and then repaired, and eventually grew to be so much more authentic, connected and loving than I could have ever imagined. 

As I continued in my professional life to pursue more trainings in somatics, psychological neuroscience, and group communication skills, I started to synthesize my learnings into tools and frameworks that I could share with my loved ones, and in my work as well.

Having now taught many of these skills to clients and students over the past decade, we now bring them together in this course, with the hope that we may all find it easier to have kind, compassionate, loving relationships.
A thriving community

More Praise For The Monogamy Detox Courses

This course will open your mind and your heart, no matter your relationship orientation. Can't recommend it enough!

ANON, COURSE STUDENT
I first took the class in spring 2020. The experience was like a seed planted in the garden that sprouted and continues to sink deeper roots and grow taller, reaching for the sun and remaining an important part of my relationship garden

— PAUL, COURSE STUDENT
The course content was so impactful. I am happily and healthfully partnered x 2, and
supported and fulfilled in ways I never really thought possible for
myself. Your course taught me so much about communication, awareness,
and generosity (for myself and others). 
ANON, COURSE STUDENT
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