Course series

The Monogamy Detox

The Original Trauma-Informed Course, now expanded and improved!
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“YOU NEVER CHANGE THINGS BY FIGHTING THE EXISTING REALITY. TO CHANGE SOMETHING, BUILD A NEW MODEL THAT MAKES THE EXISTING MODEL OBSOLETE.”
R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER


Monogamy doesn't work for everyone.

And even for those who want to explore non-monogamy, the old monogamous mythology can still sneak back in, often when we least expect it. 
Even when we know in our hearts that we do not want traditional Monogamy, we may still struggle to resist the familiar patterns and behaviours that support it. Things like conservative religious conditioning, patriarchal and misogynistic narratives, heteronormativity, fairy-tale fantasies and expectations — and so much more.

This struggle to break out of the monogamous mythology can result in feelings of shame and feeling shut down. You may feel like you can’t respond to what's happening around you, or you might find it hard to know what you want or what you don't want. It might feel hard to express yourself freely, and your communication comes across as messy. You might even find that you are unconsciously self-sabotaging yourself.

This is why The Monogamy Detox exists.



Mel Cassidy’s Monogamy Detox is the relationship school I didn’t even know I needed so badly.

— JEN, COURSE STUDENT

3 Courses over 8 Months

THE MONOGAMY DETOX WAS LAUNCHED IN 2017, AND SINCE THEN OVER 500 PEOPLE FROM AROUND THE WORLD HAVE BEEN PART OF THIS COURSE.

THE MONOGAMY DETOX RETURNS IN 2026 AS THREE 5-WEEK COURSES, EACH WITH A SPECIFIC FOCUS ON DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF UNPACKING MONO-NORMATIVITY AND STEPPING INTO RADICAL RELATING.

Each course can be taken individually, with 1 year of access to materials, or by registering for the complete Monogamy Detox Program, you gain lifetime access, meaning you can rejoin every time the courses are offered in the future.

Rewilding Relationships

  • a deep dive into unravelling relationship defaults, like the Relationship Escalator, gendered roles, mononormativity, colonial narratives, and more
  • crafting bold and embodied visions for a relational ecosystem that allows you to grow networks of attachment, and resources you for resilience against the tides of individualism.

coming in April 2026

Somatic Self Partnership

  • unravelling the mainstream romantic narratives of self-sacrifice as a trade-off for attachment based relationships, and moving towards the liberating experience of self-secure attachment
  • a pathway to interdependence that supports you to be clear and connected in yourself without sacrificing your relationship to community.

coming in Sept 2026

Resilient
Relating

  • a practical exploration of how we envision relationships, and honing the embodied skills we need to cultivate to thrive
  • tools for navigating embodied, somatically integrated approaches to collaborative relationship agreements, jealousy and compersion, and moving through the crucible of conflict and rebuilding trust.

coming in Nov 2026
BONUSES!

When you sign up for the full Monogamy Detox Program, you get the following Bonuses:
Life Time Access

Return to the course materials at any time, and rejoin the live calls anytime the course is offered — no sign up or re-registration required!
15% Discount on Coaching and Somatic Experiencing

Take your journey further with one-on-one relationship coaching and Somatic Experiencing at a 15% discount, whichever rate you pay.
The Radical Relating Colouring Pages

Sign up for the full course and you'll have access to the Radical Relating Colouring Pages Ebook, by joan trinh pham

This was created as a companion to the book, Radical Relating: a queer and polyamory informed guide to love beyond the myth of monogamy, and is a perfect accompaniment to the work of The Monogamy Detox

What We Cover


In Rewilding Relationships, we unpack the narratives of prescriptive and colonial models of Monogamy and the Nuclear Family, offering a robust framework for developing conscious, intentional, and trauma-sensitive relationships and community, inclusive of non-monogamy and conscious monogamy, through the Relationship Landscape model.

In Somatic Self Partnership, we shake off Western and colonial conceptualizations of the idealized self as hyper-independent, and by cultivating an embodied experience of self-relationship that resonates with holistic, somatic, and Indigenous perspectives on the self as a complex organism that exists within an ecosystem of relating.

We bring it all together in Resilient Relating, with essential skills for complex relationships — collaborative consent, creating agreements, and repair after rupture — with awareness of the subtle and not so subtle ways that power and privilege can impact us and our relationships, with a focus on moving from models of power over/under into relationships founded on sharing of power.
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Topics we cover include:
The mono-normative mythology and narratives that hold us back;
The qualities of  healthy, complex, interdependent relationships;
The four quadrants of the Relationship Landscape;
Moving At The Speed of Trust;
Navigating limmerence and the 'necessary fantasy';
Understanding desires, needs, and strategies;
The four kinds of boundaries;
How power and privilege affect our relationships;
The Four Courses of Agreements;
Somatic approaches to relationship triangulation;
Somatic practices for apology, repair, and rebuilding trust

Cost:

Each course in the Monogamy Detox programme can be purchased separately.
If you participate in all three courses, you receive a discount on whatever rate you pay.
I trust you to be the best judge of what you can afford; those who can pay more help me offset my costs and keep subsidized rates available for everyone who needs them.

Whole Program of 3 courses: $880CDN (approx $650 USD)(savings of $80 Canadian Dollars)
Course access = lifetime
Coaching Discount = 15% off coaching and Somatic Experiencing at any tier (excluding coaching packages)

Low Income Rate (for anyone whose income is below the living wage in their area):
Use code LOWINCOME for a 15% discount

Student/Hardship Rate (for anyone in full-time studies or experiencing financial hardship):
Use code STUDENT for a 30% discount.


Payment Plans & Discounts
You can choose to pay on a payment plan. 
The total amount for the payment plan is $900 Canadian Dollars (approx $860 USD), no matter how you pay.
Full Price Payment Plan Options:
3-part plan: $310 up front and 2 payments of  $295 at 2-month intervals
8-part plan: $200 upfront and 7 payments of $100 each month after.

Low Income Payment Plans:
For anyone whose income is below the living wage in their area. 
The total amount for this payment plan is $765 Canadian Dollars (approx $565 USD) saving of 15% from full payment plan price
3-part plan: $280 up front, and 2 payments of $242.50 at 2-month intervals
8-part plan: $170 up front and 7 payments of $85 each month after

Student/Hardship Payment Plans
For anyone who is reliant on student loans, financial assistance, or is experiencing other forms of financial hardship.
The total amount for this payment plan is $630 Canadian Dollars (approx $465 USD) savings of 30% from full payment plan price
3-part plan: $240 up front, and 2 payments of $195 at 2-month intervals
8-part plan: $105 up front, and 7 payments of $75 each month after. 

Please contact support [at] radicalrelating.ca to arrange a payment plan at a subsidized rate.

The Monogamy Detox supports you by:

  • Introducing you to new models for relating and tools for communication;
  • Supporting you to create your own unique liberating framework for relationships;
  • Guiding you into more understanding and awareness of your needs, desires, boundaries, and capacity;
  • Teaching you about Trauma-Informed approaches to relationships, with particular focus on open/non-monogamous relationships and Relationship Anarchy;
  • Giving you access to direct coaching and feedback specific to your situation;
  • Including you in an online community of individuals who are also working on their Monogamy Detox.

Frequently asked questions

I read the book Radical Relating, how is this course different?

Thank you so much for reading my book! It's a comprehensive introduction to the work I do — but honestly, there was so much that I couldn't fit into the book, especially when it comes to the nuances and specifics of what an individual journey out of monogamous mythology can hold. 

This course builds on the foundations and frameworks in the book, but what really sets it apart is that we get to do the work together, in live group calls, and integrating somatic practices as we go. 
Plus, you get to engage with other people doing this work.

If you're the kind of person who likes to learn by doing and talking about what you're doing,  and you want to have other people to do it with, then the course is going to offer you so much more than the book does — but the book is definately a good start!

I can't make all the calls. Are the live calls recorded?

The live group Zoom calls are on Sundays at 10am Pacific Time and will last 90 minutes. Calls are recorded and will be uploaded to the coursework page within 24 hours of the call. While attending the calls live is ideal, it is totally okay if you need to miss a few.

Is this a Non-Monogamy Course?

Yes and no. 

It's not envisioned as an introduction to non-monogamy, but if you're new to non-monogamy and you're wanting to tackle the ways you might have internalized monogamous narratives, then the work in this course will definitely support you. 

I don't want to be non-monogamous, can I still do this course?

Absolutely!
Whilst the language used in the course is non-monogamy-centred, everyone is welcome.
The frameworks, skills, and practices that we explore are applicable for all kinds of relationships.

What do you mean that this program is "Somatic"?

Somatics is a bit of a 'catch-all' term for various practices, modalities, and frameworks that focus on integrating mind, body, heart, and spirit. 
I'm trained in Somatic movement and am also a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. How this shows up in my courses is that the curriculum is structured to be gentle and supportive for nervous systems learning new ways of being. 
It also means that the content we're exploring is inspired by somatic practices and frameworks.

On a very practical level, the coursework will invite you to engage in gentle somatic practices, such as visualization, movement (within your comfort and capacity), and tracking your nervous system and its responses. 

While many somatic practices have been inspired by indigenous animistic and wisdom traditions, and my own practice of somatics is grounded through my personal animistic path (through Shaivism), I teach somatics through the language of modern somatics while seeking to honour the lineages through which I've studied, and by which these practices have originally come to us.

I'm asexual/aromantic and/or don't desire anything like traditional partnership or dating. Is this a good course for me?

Yes! Especially if you have struggled to feel supported or understood in these aspects of how you relate. 

What are your subsidy and payment plan options?

I believe this work can't truly be radical if it's inaccessible to those experiencing hardship or who are struggling financially. 

I don't need to see any proof of need: I trust each person to be their own best judge of their finances. 

Low Income individuals (whose income is below living wage where they live) can use the code LOW INCOME for a 15% discount on the full purchase price. 

Individuals who are full time students with loans, living on government benefits, unable to work due to disability, or experiencing more extreme financial challenges, can use the code STUDENT for a 30% discount on the full purchase price. 

There are 2 and 3 part payment plans available at the full rate. 
If you would like to pay on the Low Income or Student/Hardship rate on a payment plan, please send a message to support [at] radicalrelating.ca 
If you're in a relationship, starting a relationship, or ending a relationship, you owe it to yourself to check this course out. It opened my eyes to the possibilities, and gave me some valuable insights into my own relationships — to other people, to the planet, and to myself. I'll be dipping into this material for as long as I'm around.
I would recommend this course to anyone, not just polyamorous-minded people. It teaches so much basic relationship knowledge, basic needs/desire awareness, and overall better understanding of human interaction.
— ANON COURSE STUDENT

2026 Course Dates:

Coursework goes live on Thursdays
Live Group Calls are on Sundays at 10am Pacific Time/1pm Eastern
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Rewilding The Landscape
April 23rd- May 24th
Live Class Calls: April 26th, May 3rd, May 10th, May 17th, May 24th

Somatic Self Partnership *
September 10th- Oct 11th
Live Class Calls: September 13th, September 20th, September 27th, October 4th, October 11th

Resilient Relating *
Nov 5th- Dec 6th
Live Class Calls: November 8th, November 15th, November 22nd, November 29th, December 6th

* course dates subject to change

Please note, this course is not for you if:

  • You are uncomfortable doing self-reflection;
  • You are currently experiencing a relationship crisis and have no other means of emotional support (eg therapist, family, friendship network);
  • You are trying to force yourself to be non-monogamous for the sake of a partner;
  • You believe there are only two genders or that racism doesn't exist;
  • You aren't ready to examine the ways you experience power and privilege due to your gender, orientation, or relationship status.
A thriving community

500+ people worldwide

Your work has reminded me that perhaps there isn’t anything wrong with me at all. I am amazed at the deep levels of shame we carry as human beings because we don’t fit into the construct that is given to us as a model for our life. It feels exciting because I can now explore what I want for my life rather than be gifted something that just doesn’t feel right for me.
Craig, COURSE STUDENT
 I am very thankful for the ability to apply what I have learned from participating in your program. Not to say that I wasn't hit with a variety of emotions. Absolutely, I was . Navigating through them and understanding that they are part of the hangover helped me to move to a great place of genuine joy...

ANON COURSE STUDENT
This course has been life-changing for me. The self-worth and confidence I have gained ... is evident to those around me. I am so happy to know that I will be able to access the tools in the future as I continue my self-discovery and whatever challenges that may bring. This course has helped me to increasingly value myself.

Carrie, COURSE STUDENT

The Values Of The Monogamy Detox

Because how we do this together is just as important as what we do together.
  1. The Monogamy Detox courses take an intersectional lens that recognizes compulsory monogamy as a cultural institution that is rooted in patriarchal, colonial, and capitalist narratives. 
  2. Freely chosen dyadic (two people) and fidelitous partnership is not inherently bad. People exploring conscious monogamy are welcome here. 
  3. We consider how the upholding of Monogamy — and especially of the Nuclear Family through the 20th century thru to today — alongside heteronormative gender roles and a lack of mental health support, creates a fragile relationship ecology, leaving us more reliant on colonial systems for survival.
  4. These courses offer a feminist, anti-racist, queer & trans-affirming space, with room for compassionate dialogue and the space to be gently challenged and learn about the ways compulsory monogamy and systems of oppression intertwine.
  5. The content of The Monogamy Detox courses is free from the use of generative AI, and always will be.
You have created something truly magnificent here. I was impressed not just with the coursework, but by your ability to integrate intersectional awareness for marginalized groups. It was fantastic to see the diversity of the group that you attracted, which speaks to the work that you are doing to do so. It felt like a profoundly safe space and I enjoyed myself immensely.
— ANON COURSE STUDENT

What You'll Get From This Program:

  • You'll recognise the unhelpful stories about relationships from monogamy that you didn't even realise have been holding you back;
  • You'll identify your needs in the four dimensions of intimacy and relationships;
  • You'll learn how to have independence while being in kind, loving relationships;
  • You'll discover how to balance deep emotional relationships alongside social and sexual ones;
  • You'll define a clear and authentic vision for your entire relationship ecology;
  • You'll be empowered to cultivate your own diverse landscape of relating, one where you can show up as your whole, authentic self.
A thriving community

what past students say:

I was hesitant at first —I didn't specifically identify as poly, but this class is NOT just for polyamorous people. Honestly, I think everyone that has ever been in a relationship would benefit from this class!
I feel like a relationship superhero now and I've made so many meaningful friendships through the class. There is no question, this class was a valuable life changer, for me.
ANON, COURSE STUDENT
I entered this course feeling insecure, unsure, and lost when it came to identifying what I need and want, not to mention feeling very isolated and alone in those desires. I left with a rich community of likeminded friends, a strong awareness of what I want out of my relationships, and so much more confidence in the entire topic and relationships in general. I can't thank Mel enough!!
ANON COURSE STUDENT
For a long time I was stuck in a contradiction: believing in the free expression of love, while at the same time lacking an explicit and thoughtful critique of toxic monogamy culture that undermines those very values.
Mel’s Monogamy Detox helped clarify the goals and values that guide my relationships, so I can live a more authentic life.
ANON, COURSE STUDENT

My Personal Journey

HOW DID I GET TO KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THIS?

I got married when I was 22 because I thought that was what you were supposed to do when you were 22 and in love, and wanting to start a grown-up life.

What I didn’t realise was that I had a pattern for co-dependency that would end up being toxic to our relationship, and I had no idea how to express my needs and desires. Wouldn’t my husband magically know what I needed? Surely if I had to say it outloud that would mean something was wrong between us!

These stories I told myself held us both back, and for many years I felt like I was flying on autopilot.

After two miscarriages, a botched attempt at an open marriage, and an affair, we realised neither of us were happy existing in a relationship that didn’t meet either our needs. Instead of fighting to exist in a state of compromise (you know how that feels, right?), we amicably went our separate ways.

Excitedly, I jumped right into a non-monogamous life, aspiring to be polyamorous (a form of honest non-monogamy that happens with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved). Early on in my dating experiences, I met someone who I felt was my soul-mate. The connection was intense, and we both felt like we’d known eachother for lifetimes! But, we had totally different lifestyles. Complete opposites. I was vegetarian, he only ate meat; I liked to go to bed early, he stayed up late; he lived in the city, I loved being in the country. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last long, inspite of the great sexual chemistry (don’t you just hate it when that happens?).

Nursing a broken heart, I found myself feeling lost and uncertain about how to engage in relationships for a while.


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THE EPIPHANY

I came to realise that what was holding me back was also holding a lot of other folks back too. It was the mythology I’d been fed since childhood— not just the ‘one day my Prince will come’ stories— but all the expectations and stories about what a partner would do for me, and how a successful relationship was defined by social norms. I started to examine my own experiences and how often I’d put aside my own needs and desires while trying to become who I imagined my partner wanted or needed me to be. I began to see that the people I was dating were doing the same with me too!

While I was studying counselling for intimacy and relationships, I noticed that there was plenty of information about codependent dynamics, but very little had been written about why those dynamics were there in the first place. The traditional models of monogamy seemed tailored to lead to codependency, and few alternatives were given.

In my coaching practice, I found that almost all my clients were working with some form of 'Monogamy Hangover', a murky cloud hanging above them, filled with unspoken and unconscious expectations, which was holding them back from happy and fulfilled relationships. For over a decade 've been refining the tools I use with clients to detox from the Monogamy Hangover, and this course is the result of that work!
A thriving community

More Praise For The Monogamy Detox

This course will open your mind and your heart, no matter your relationship orientation. Can't recommend it enough!

ANON, COURSE STUDENT
I first took the class in spring 2020. The experience was like a seed planted in the garden that sprouted and continues to sink deeper roots and grow taller, reaching for the sun and remaining an important part of my relationship garden

— PAUL, COURSE STUDENT
The course content was so impactful. I am happily and healthfully partnered x 2, and
supported and fulfilled in ways I never really thought possible for
myself. Your course taught me so much about communication, awareness,
and generosity (for myself and others). 
ANON, COURSE STUDENT
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