LIVE COHORT

Somatic Self Partnership

5 Weeks Hybrid Learning

part of the monogamy detox course series
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Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.
~ AUDRE LORDE

Self-care is about more than bubble baths, rewarding yourself after a stressful day, or making sure you are eating well. Caring for ourselves is a radical journey to unravel the stories we've been told about worthiness, desire, and our purpose in relationships.

Many of us have been taught that to demonstrate our love for another, we have to be willing to sacrifice every part of ourselves. We may have been told that we're being 'selfish' when we say no (as if it's a bad thing to set boundaries), and shamed for desiring more than we have. In short, we've been taught that to be in a relationship, or indeed any kind of connection that offers safety, we have to be willing to allow others to have power over us.

And then, when we break out of the stories that have kept us small,  and we start to take our power back, we might go to the opposite extreme: become so selfish that we ignore our impact on others, or so rigid about our boundaries that we miss opportunities for meaningful connections. 

What's missing is true self-relationship: a confidence in one's self that isn't based on hoarding power, but rather on sharing it and deriving safety and security through mutual, emotionally attuned relationships.

Whether the way you have been relating with yourself has been rooted in religious stories you grew up with, the cisgendered expectations you felt put on you by society, the heteronormative defaults of relationship roles, or even well-intentioned pressure from your family and friends, one thing is clear: pretzeling yourself into conformity is exhausting. 

If you're yearning for a way of living that is neither self-sacrifice nor hyper-independence,  and enjoy a deeply loving relationship with your authentic self — one that is somatically integrated, grounded in your relationships with others, and that frees you from self-sacrifice and codependency — then this is the course for you. 

If you're ready to address the patterns of over-functioning, self-sacrifice, and insecure attachment in your relationships, and to cultivate an embodied, loving partnership with yourself, this course is for you. 
Mel Cassidy’s Monogamy Detox is the relationship school I didn’t even know I needed so badly.

— JEN, COURSE STUDENT

5 Transformational Weeks

Somatic Self Partnership builds on the work presented by Mel Cassidy in their book, Radical Relating, offering a somatically-integrated and experiential dive into developing self-secure attachment and embodied confidence that supports flourishing and healthy relationships

Together, we unpack the restrictive frameworks and stories that may be limiting our experience of ourselves. Through somatic practices that support greater connection to our boundaries and capacity, we learn to connect with our desires and to express ourselves confidently. And, with trauma-informed tools, we learn how to show up with greater connection to how we exist within the greater, shared relationship ecosystem.

Over the course of five weeks, you'll come to fall in love with not just your Self, but the whole dance of relating with others as well.

THIS COURSE IS PART ONE OF THE MONOGAMY DETOX PROGRAM, A COMPREHENSIVE SERIES OF THREE COURSES FOCUSING ON DIFFERENT ASPECTS OF UNPACKING MONO-NORMATIVITY AND STEPPING INTO RADICAL RELATING.

Each course can be taken individually, with 1 year of access to materials, or by registering for the complete Monogamy Detox Program, you gain lifetime access, meaning you can rejoin every time the courses are offered in the future.

What We Cover

This course explores self-partnership by unpacking Western and colonial conceptualizations of the idealized self as hyper-independent, and by cultivating an embodied experience of self-relationship that resonates with holistic, somatic, and Indigenous perspectives on the self as a complex organism that exists within an ecosystem of relating.

Topics we cover include:
How trauma and relationship loss may have impacted our developing sense of self;
Dissociation and the somatic 'parts' of Self;
Understanding desires, needs, and strategies;
The four kinds of boundaries
Somatic practices for embodied and resilient boundaries;
Developing self-secure attachment as a foundation for healthier relationships and community building.

Cost:

5 Week Course $320CDN (approx $235 USD or 200 Euros)
Course access = 12 months

I am committed to financial accessibility and offer low-income and Student/Hardship discounts for anyone who needs them. 
I trust you to be the best judge of what you can afford; those who can pay more help me offset my costs and keep subsidized rates available for everyone who needs them.

Low Income Rate (for anyone whose income is below living wage in their location): $272CDN (15% discount, approx $200USD or 170 Euros). 
Use discount code LOWINCOME when registering. 

Student/Hardship Rate (for anyone who is a student, living on government subsidies, or is otherwise experiencing financial hardship): $224 CDN (30% discount, approx $165 USD or 140 Euros). 
Use discount code STUDENT when registering.

2- and 3-part payment plans at subsidized rates are also available.  Please contact support [at] radicalrelating.ca
You can also register to participate in the full 8-month Monogamy Detox Program, which includes 2 additional courses. When you register for all three, you receive up to an additional discount (depending on payment plan), and additional benefits including life-time access and a life-time coaching discount.

Somatic Self Partnership Is For You If:

  • You are ready to stop being the over-functioner and person who self-sacrifices as a love language.
  • You are breaking patterns of codependency and want more tools to identify and assert your boundaries and needs in relationships.
  • You recently ended a long-term relationship and are looking to clarify your desires and develop a greater sense of self-worth.
  • You're looking for trauma-informed approaches to growing community and chosen family, with particular focus on open/non-monogamous relationships and Relationship Anarchy.

Frequently asked questions

I read the book Radical Relating, how is this course different?

Thank you so much for reading my book! It's a comprehensive introduction to the work I do — but honestly, there was so much I couldn't fit into the book, especially the nuances and specifics of what an individual journey out of monogamous mythology can entail. 

This course builds on the foundations and frameworks in the book, but what really sets it apart is that we get to do the work together on live group calls and integrate somatic practices as we go. 
Plus, you get to engage with other people doing this work.

If you're the kind of person who likes to learn by doing and talking about what you're doing,  and you want to have other people to do it with, then the course is going to offer you so much more than the book does — but the book is definitely a good start!

I can't make the live calls. Will the calls be recorded?

The live group Zoom calls are on Sundays at 10 am Pacific Time and will last 90 minutes. Calls are recorded and will be uploaded to the coursework page within 24 hours of the call. While attending the calls live is ideal, it is totally okay if you need to miss a few.

Is this a Non-Monogamy Course?

Yes and no. 

It's not envisioned as an introduction to non-monogamy, but if you're new to non-monogamy and you want to tackle the ways that monogamous mythologies may have led you to be self-sacrificing or codependent, then the work in this course will definitely support you. 

I don't want to be non-monogamous, can I still do this course?

Absolutely!
Whilst the language used in the course is non-monogamy-centred, everyone is welcome.
The frameworks, skills, and practices that we explore are applicable for all kinds of relationships.

What do you mean that this course is "Somatic"?

Somatics is a bit of a 'catch-all' term for various practices, modalities, and frameworks that focus on integrating mind, body, heart, and spirit. I'm trained in Somatic movement and am also a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.

How this shows up in my courses is that the curriculum is structured to be gentle and supportive for nervous systems learning new ways of being. It also means that the content we're exploring is inspired by somatic practices and frameworks.

On a very practical level, the coursework will invite you to engage in gentle somatic practices, such as visualization, movement (within your comfort and capacity), and tracking your nervous system and its responses. 

While many somatic practices have been inspired by indigenous animistic and wisdom traditions, and my own practice of somatics is grounded through my personal animistic path (through Shaivism), I teach somatics through the language of modern somatics while seeking to honour the lineages through which I've studied, and by which these practices have originally come to us.

I'm asexual/aromantic and/or don't desire anything like traditional partnership or dating. Is this a good course for me?

Yes! Especially if you have struggled to feel supported or understood in these aspects of how you relate. 

What are your subsidy and payment plan options?

I believe this work can't truly be radical if it's inaccessible to those experiencing hardship or who are struggling financially. 

I don't need to see any proof of need: I trust each person to be their own best judge of their finances. 

Low Income individuals (whose income is below living wage where they live) can use the code LOW INCOME for a 15% discount on the full purchase price. 

Individuals who are full time students with loans, living on government benefits, unable to work due to disability, or experiencing more extreme financial challenges, can use the code STUDENT for a 30% discount on the full purchase price. 

There are 2 and 3 part payment plans available at the full rate. 
If you would like to pay on the Low Income or Student/Hardship rate on a payment plan, please send a message to support [at] radicalrelating.ca 
This course has been life-changing for me. The self-worth and confidence I have gained ... is evident to those around me. I am so happy to know that I will be able to access the tools in the future as I continue my self-discovery and whatever challenges that may bring. This course has helped me to increasingly value myself.

— CARRIE, COURSE STUDENT

2026 Course Dates:

Coursework goes live on Thursdays
Live Group Calls are on Sundays at 10am Pacific Time/1pm Eastern
Check Your Local Timezone Here

All calls are recorded, and posted to the coursework page.

Course Starts September 10th

WEEK ONE: The Solitary Self
Coursework: Thurs Sept 10th
Live Group Call: Sunday Sept 13th

WEEK TWO: The Self As Home
Coursework: Thurs Sept 17th
Live Group Call: Sunday Sept 20th

WEEK THREE: Diving Into Desires
Coursework: Thurs Sept 24th
Live Group Call: Sunday Sept 27th

WEEK FOUR: Boundaries, Not Barricades
Coursework Thurs Oct 1st
Live Group Call: Sunday Oct 4th

WEEK FIVE: Belonging & Attachment
Coursework: Thurs Oct 8th
Live Call: Sunday Oct 11th

Please note, this course is not for you if:

  • You are uncomfortable doing self-reflection;
  • You are currently experiencing a relationship crisis and have no other means of emotional support (eg therapist, family, friendship network);
  • You are trying to force yourself to be non-monogamous for the sake of a partner;
  • You believe there are only two genders or that racism doesn't exist;
  • You aren't ready to examine the ways you experience power and privilege due to your gender, orientation, or relationship status.
A thriving community

500+ people worldwide

Your work has reminded me that perhaps there isn’t anything wrong with me at all. I am amazed at the deep levels of shame we carry as human beings because we don’t fit into the construct that is given to us as a model for our life. It feels exciting because I can now explore what I want for my life rather than be gifted something that just doesn’t feel right for me.
Craig, COURSE STUDENT
 I am very thankful for the ability to apply what I have learned from participating in your program. Not to say that I wasn't hit with a variety of emotions. Absolutely, I was . Navigating through them and understanding that they are part of the hangover helped me to move to a great place of genuine joy...

ANON COURSE STUDENT
If you're in a relationship, starting a relationship, or ending a relationship, you owe it to yourself to check this course out. It opened my eyes to the possibilities, and gave me some valuable insights into my own relationships — to other people, to the planet, and to myself. I'll be dipping into this material for as long as I'm around.

 ANON COURSE STUDENT

The Values Of The Monogamy Detox Program

Because how we do this together is just as important as what we do together.
  1. The Monogamy Detox courses take an interesectional lense that recognises compulsory monogamy as a cultural institution is rooted in patriarchal, colonial, and capitalist narratives.

  2. Freely chosen dyadic (two people) and fidelitous partnership is not inherently bad.
    People exploring conscious monogamy are welcome here. 

  3. We consider how the upholding of Monogamy — and especially of the Nuclear Family through the 20th century thru to today — alongside heteronormative gender roles and a lack of mental health support, creates a fragile relationship ecology, leaving us more reliant on colonial systems for survival.

  4. These courses offer a feminist, anti-racist, queer & trans-affirming space, with room for compassionate dialogue and the space to be gently challenged and learn about the ways compulsory monogamy and systems of oppression intertwine.

  5. The content of The Monogamy Detox courses is free from the use of generative AI, and always will be.
You have created something truly magnificent here. I was impressed not just with the coursework, but by your ability to integrate intersectional awareness for marginalized groups. It was fantastic to see the diversity of the group that you attracted, which speaks to the work that you are doing to do so. It felt like a profoundly safe space and I enjoyed myself immensely.
— ANON COURSE STUDENT

What You'll Get From This Course:

  • You'll recognize the unhelpful stories about who you are from monogamy that you didn't even realize have been holding you back;
  • You'll discover affirming ways of relating with yourself that allow you to grow deeper relationships with others;
  • You'll identify your needs in the four dimensions of intimacy and relationships;
  • You'll learn somatic practices for understanding the root of your desires and embodying your boundaries;
  • You'll be empowered to step more boldly and confidently into relationships with others, showing up as your whole, authentic self.
A thriving community

what past students say:

I was hesitant at first —I didn't specifically identify as poly, but this class is NOT just for polyamorous people. Honestly, I think everyone that has ever been in a relationship would benefit from this class!
I feel like a relationship superhero now and I've made so many meaningful friendships through the class. There is no question, this class was a valuable life changer, for me.
ANON, COURSE STUDENT
I entered this course feeling insecure, unsure, and lost when it came to identifying what I need and want, not to mention feeling very isolated and alone in those desires. I left with a rich community of likeminded friends, a strong awareness of what I want out of my relationships, and so much more confidence in the entire topic and relationships in general. I can't thank Mel enough!!
ANON COURSE STUDENT
For a long time I was stuck in a contradiction: believing in the free expression of love, while at the same time lacking an explicit and thoughtful critique of toxic monogamy culture that undermines those very values.
Mel’s Monogamy Detox helped clarify the goals and values that guide my relationships, so I can live a more authentic life.
ANON, COURSE STUDENT

My Journey of Coming Back To My Self

When I got married at 22, I had just finished a bachelor's degree and was having a crisis about who I was and what I was supposed to do with my life. Getting married seemed to offer me a solution: that who I should be is a wife, and eventually a mother. 

As it became more clear that the path to becoming a mother would be a challenging one for me, and also that my marriage was not what I had hoped it would be, I again faced a crisis about who I was and who I was supposed to be. 

When I became single again in my late 20s and began exploring polyamory, I found myself quickly sliding into people-pleasing behaviour with new partners. I was keen to accommodate the needs of others and to take on the desires and opinions of the people I was dating and those in the new scenes I was spending time in. 

But this made me miserable! I realized I was tolerating so much that I didn't enjoy my new friendships, and that I had started to function so far beyond my capacity in my dating relationships, that I wasn't showing up as my genuine self. I was faking it, and then resenting others for not seeing or understanding the real me.

I realized that I didn't understand the real me.

So I made a commitment to myself: that for at least two years, I was going to practice being my own 'primary' partner. I'd take myself on dates. I'd do the things for myself that I kept silently yearning for partners to do. And I'd get to know who I really was when I wasn't pretzeling myself to meet someone else's expectation of me.

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SELF PARTNERSHIP

As I explored my self-partnership, I began to blog about my experiences, and my writing resonated with people who reached out to ask for advice. This led me to return to school to study counselling for intimacy in relationships, which inspired me to start my relationship coaching practice.

Self-partnership has been the cornerstone of my relationship work, both personal and professional, for over a decade now. And, I know that there's a shadow side to it: I've seen how many have interpreted self-partnership to mean hyper-independence, and I've grown curious about what it looks and feels like to embody self-partnership in generous ways that allow us to more deeply relate with others. 

I continue to learn new tools and frameworks that support my own self-partnership, and reconnect with somatic and animistic practices I was raised with that nurture a holistic connection to Self. I bring these into my work with clients. 

Today, I believe that self-partnership is one of the most profound relational practices anyone can undertake.
A thriving community

More Praise For The Monogamy Detox Courses

This course will open your mind and your heart, no matter your relationship orientation. Can't recommend it enough!

ANON, COURSE STUDENT
I first took the class in spring 2020. The experience was like a seed planted in the garden that sprouted and continues to sink deeper roots and grow taller, reaching for the sun and remaining an important part of my relationship garden

— PAUL, COURSE STUDENT
The course content was so impactful. I am happily and healthfully partnered x 2, and
supported and fulfilled in ways I never really thought possible for
myself. Your course taught me so much about communication, awareness,
and generosity (for myself and others). 
ANON, COURSE STUDENT
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